


Say When

by diveintotheheart



Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: M/M, Pining, leader is stupid, panda is stupid too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-27
Updated: 2017-11-27
Packaged: 2019-02-07 11:03:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12839823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diveintotheheart/pseuds/diveintotheheart
Summary: 5 short songficy (sort of) things? Or 5 super short song drabbly things rather. Anyway, GRi is super angsty and I love it so.





	Say When

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even remember writing this tbh. But here you go.

**_I give you my heart, hold on let me sign it_ **

 

It wasn't always like this. An obsession.

He watches the way their Leader's pen glides effortlessly across the glossed photos. How Jiyong's face lights up with that stupid smile and Seungri isn't sure he can take it anymore. For once he longs to be on the other side of the table. A face in a crowd of thousands catching the attention of his idol for a split second. To see the love and appreciation. And he would know it was real.

 

**_For every word left unsaid, I thought you understood_ **

 

"You can't stay."

Seungri laughs and continues shoving cereal into his mouth. A bit of milk dribbles out of one corner and he laps it up. It's not until he notices Jiyong isn't milling about like everyone else that he actually looks up. There's nothing funny about the way Jiyong is looking at him.

"What?"

"You. can't. stay. You have to come back with us."

"But Daesung is staying." Seungri looks around for his bandmate but they've all shuffled off to do god knows what. He ends up waving his hand dismissively in the direction he imagines Daesung would be in. "Whatever. It's not like I'll be alone. Besides, it's our vacation."

He slurps the last of the milk out of his bowl and goes to place it in the sink. Two steps and there's a harsh pressure on his forearm.

"I'm serious. I don't care about what Daesung is doing."

_You don't care about me either._

Seungri yanks his arm away and fidgets under Jiyong's glare. "Why are you being like this? What does it matter where I am on my time off?" He's irritated now. " It's not like I'm going to be far, we're literally a plane ride away. If you're that lonely for company maybe _you_ should stay and call up Kiko or something."

The second Seungri says her name he regrets it.

Regrets the way Jiyong's eyes go dark and unforgiving.

 

**_You know if you break my heart I'll go, but I'll be back_ **

 

Two weeks into filming his next Japanese drama Seungri finally has some downtime. He opens his laptop and the first thing he sees is Jiyong's face splattered all over Naver.

_Leader of popular Idol Group Big Bang rumored to be dating up-and-coming model Park Sunyi!_

The bile rises up in his throat and he tries quickly to force it back down. There's photo after photo of the couple out to eat. Walking through the park hand in hand. Seungri isn't sure how it's still considered 'rumor.'

It's confirmation enough for him.

Seungri knows he and Jiyong have been growing apart for a long time now. But he won't believe it. He just can't accept that it was so easy for Jiyong to leave him behind. To throw him away. Even if he does feel like trash.

Seungri clicks the laptop shut and crawls into bed, thankful there's no shoot tomorrow. He contemplates calling someone. Anyone. Seunghyun is wrapping up filming for his new movie. Youngbae has gone to New York to record material for his next solo album. Daesung is here in Japan but Seungri doesn't want to bother him. What would he say anyway?

And that's how he ends up calling Jiyong instead.

Jiyong picks up but doesn't say anything. Neither does Seungri. They stay like that for a while, listening to each other breathe. Seungri wonders what Jiyong looks like in that moment. If he's curled up in bed too. If she's curled up next to him. He whimpers.

"Seungri-ah..."

Seungri ends the call, shoving the phone under his pillow. He ignores the incessant buzzing at first. Eventually, he gathers up enough courage to text a 'congratulations' and shoves it away once more. It doesn't buzz again for the rest of the night.

 

**_Hallelujah, I'm falling_ **

 

Seungri can hear someone in the hall yelling but he's too tired. He can't concentrate hard enough to make out who it is. After a while, his hospital room door opens and It seems like forever before he finally hears it click shut. The blurry mass approaches him slowly and if he squints hard enough it almost looks like Jiyong.

It's official. He's finally lost it.

False Jiyong pulls a chair over and sits, hands folded limply in his lap. Seungri frowns. He sees tears forming in the hallucination's eyes. He doesn't want this. He _never_ wanted this.

False Jiyong reaches out to him and brushes a cold hand across Seungri's cheek. Seungri flinches away. He _doesn't want this._ He wants **his** Jiyong. He shakes his head and False Jiyong breaks down. Pulls at his hair. Seungri just closes his eyes. His Jiyong would never do this. Cry over him.

He's so tired.

 

**_Such a rush, to do nothing at all_ **

 

The first time they kiss it's nothing like in the dramas. There's no rain. No tense moment.

Seungri is covered in finger paint and attempting to make Seunghyun's "Congratulations on being a famous award-winning actor" banner pretty and perfect enough for the party. The only warning he gets is one of Jiyong's ridiculous giggles and then warmth.

It's also the first time in a situation like this that he's not in control.

He loves it.

 


End file.
